Monday, February 9

The Resumption of Housecleaning

Well, it seems that stuff is starting to surface again for purification, but we've moved on to a more recent period: the hospitalizations. During my sits, that's what's coming up. Part of me sighs: oh, great, more of this rubbish. I graduated last Monday from the childhood stuff, had a brief grace period, and now... But I'm also encouraged: there's an increased confidence that this work can be accomplished, that I'm up for the task.

One of the things I learned from dealing with the early childhood stuff is to go more gently. Relax. Don't try to hurry. Don't try to take on too much at once. Especially, relax those flexed, tensed, knotted up, fight-or-flight muscles. A continual process: not just relaxing once, but again & again & again. & Releasing. Not getting drawn into the story of this or that, just seeing, relaxing, releasing, returning to the present. Over & over, world without end. Habitual body scanning is really helpful. There's strength in repetition, and in substituting healthier responses for harmful ones.

I'm actually looking forward to seeing Chris now. I want the chance to talk about the stuff from that era. ["I want..." Ooh, craving. Really strong, with some heft behind it.]

The dream from last week, of those three nearly empty rooms, can be interpreted any number of ways. That there was just a little bit of junk in the first of the rooms left over from the previous occupant, just waiting to be cleaned out, can be taken in a very encouraging way.

...Jeepers. There were just some people in the hall walking by outside our door. All I could hear was

First man: "....blah blah blah...Four Winds."
Second man: "... blah blah Four Winds?"
First man: "...blah blah blah blah..."
receding down the hallway.

Irony? Sychronicity? Not a hallucination, I'm pretty sure of that, at least. Maybe just the universe's way of underscoring the pointing in that direction of inquiry?

Ah, well. Life has a funny way sometimes.

Speaking of inquiry, DaeJa has responded to my email, and I need to get back to her to set up a time for a "Dharma dialogue" by phone.

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