Thursday, January 1
Today I'm to have a phone interview with DaeJa Napier.
This morning's meditation was as relieving as it was surprising. When I began with myself, there was just a flicker of the old glow, which has been missing since Christmastime. My heart, apparently, has been closed for the holiday. Then when I moved to sending to DaeJa in the role of benefactor... whoo boy! It really took off. The heart opened, and all that lovely warmth poured forth. The mind got very quiet and still in the midst of all that happiness, and the body was filled throughout with delightful sensations. The fake smile became very genuine.
I have heard that the effectiveness (intensity?) of metta transmission depends on the purity of both the sender and the receiver. It has gotten very intense when sending to Sakula, and now very intense when sending to DaeJa. It's pretty clear that she's quite well-realized on the Path. I remember the first night of the brahmaviharas retreat in October, I was really pumping out the metta strongly. DaeJa was looking, one by one, at the students, and when she came to me... our gazes locked, and she gave a little squint at me, and I jumped. A little zap. Later on, she came up to me and the first thing she said was that she was so glad to have met me. Unfortunately I lacked the wit to ask, "Oh really? Why's that?" But since then, I have secretly harbored the belief that she was able to perceive all the metta flowing from this heart, and that she could tell where I was on the Path.
There's about an hour and a quarter between now and when I'm scheduled to call DaeJa, so after a trip to the bathroom, I'd like to have another sitting and do more metta.