Sunday, December 21
On Friday, my sweetie took me to see "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King." And somehow that made everything better. :-)
Yesterday was odd. Gini slept all day, then the evening was spent waiting for her mom to finally call her back. I think we were both tense about that silence, fearing that-which-must-not-be-spoken. But she finally did call back. By the time all was said and done, it was after midnight. Normally I would have gone to bed at such an hour, but I knew how much Gini wanted me to stay up and play, so I did. We watched the DVD of "The Mothman Prophecies," and we were both amazed anew at what a good film that was. Much better than it needed to be, or than could reasonably be expected. A rare film that has respect for Mystery, and can hint successfully at the unknowable. tantalizing in its possibilities.
So we stayed up late. I got up around 9:30ish, bathroomed, returned to bed but not to sleep, then rose again.
Nice meditation. Lots of metta. Remembered that the point is to generate that pleasant warmth; once it's been generated, I can drop the generation method and just focus on the pleasantness, and that will build to the next stage...
While Gini was sleeping yesterday, I did homework. I wrote my unsent -- unsendable -- letter to my Dad, as Chris instructed. Very hard. It started off carefully, judiciously, then the more I wrote, the more poured out of me, the more disorganized and rambling it became. It was like descending. I also started on my scrapbook, which I put together in PowerPoint. I think it's pretty neat, actually, despite the subject matter.
Last night, while G was on the phone I did a drawing I really liked, entitled "God Eats Old People For Breakfast." Big giant head chomping on some wrinkled old dude. On the reverse, a list of all the other people & things God eats, concluding with Everyone I Love. Omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent... and omnivorous! It was suggested that God should go on a diet. "Run for your life! He's a cold-blooded killer and he's coming after YOU!"
Well, I thought it was pretty funny, anyway.