Sunday, November 30

About yesterday, the least possible amount said, the better. Much hitting and scratching of myself, and just generally writhing about in self-inflicted mental agony. In the afternoon, I was trying to paint (digitally via Wacom tablet and Corel Painter) and a minor surge of frustration turned into a tantrum -- I deleted all of my intuitive paintings and ripped up all the pencil drawings in my sketch diary ("Bri's Warehouse"). The paintings were easily replaceable today from my HD backup and from Gini's stash on her computer, but those pencil drawings were a painful loss -- which was the point, obviously. Some of them were just scribbles and doodles, but there were three that were actually good. Really good.

Tonight I started again, with "Bri's Warehouse, Vol. 2." What else can one do but start over? The drawing is called, "Not To Be Taken Away." It was inspired by a section of the cover photo of The Who's 1978 record, "Who Are You." Keith Moon was posed sitting backward on a folding chair to hide his fat tummy. On the chairback was stencilled "NOT TO BE TAKEN AWAY." Moon died soon after.

Who Are You

Today I feel as fine as yesterday I felt not-fine. This war must end. Cease fire. White flag. Unconditonal surrender. Stop shooting at me, I'm conscientious objector.

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